Some Unreal Viruses

PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, two if by C:.
POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never calls itself a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."
RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS: Won't allow you to delete a file. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.
OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 1 gigabyte hard drive suddenly shrinks to 120MB, and then slowly expands back to 1 gigabyte.
TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up; the screen splits; messages appear on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.
KEVORKIAN VIRUS: Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to.
STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.